How to run a marathon without any training
This originally appeared as part of an email sequence from November 2019.
“I’m afraid I haven’t been honest with you…” I say with an evil grin.
“What?!” you think.
“This whole time, dear one, I've been testing you to see if we're a match made in heaven.”
So, hang on tight ‘cause you’re about to get your ego pumped UP.
If you've made it this far, you:
Are of higher-than-average intelligence
Can read between the lines
Are not a small thinker
Have good self-awareness
Aren't afraid to be challenged
Want to better yourself
Have a good sense of humour
Aren't a jerkwad
Don’t mind defying convention
Are willing to read long-ass things
Feeling good, yet?
I’m not joking, those things really are true if you still care about what I write.
I write in a very psychologically-driven way that appeals to a very specific type of person... Been a copywriter since 2007, that’s what we’re paid to do.
I only want people who fit my criteria because I'm only able to help a certain type of runner with my teachings.
So, let's get on with it to make sure this really is true love. I ain’t got no time for one-email-sequence stands.
This is possibly one of the most controversial opinions I've talked about in running so far...
The 1-Day Marathon.
Isn't she perpetuating misinformation? Isn't she encouraging people to hurt themselves? How unprofessional!
To people who don't think big, maybe. But, that's their problem. I'm not here to serve them.
In fact, I hope talking about this deters those types from looking to me for running advice. My methods help runners who aren't close-minded Stravaphiles, looking for their next PR and nothing else. Who define their "success" in running as simply being fast. Who are prone to shaming people that aren't.
What I teach is for people who look at running as part of their identity, beyond what the numbers say on their Garmins. Who are on a mission to become better people, not just better runners.
Anyway.
This email applies to maaaybe 10% of runners. You should only proceed with this if you:
Have successfully completed more than one marathon before
Currently have an established running base
Know your body and its limits
Leave absolutely all your ego at home on race day
And, most importantly...Have a proper strength and recovery routine in place, TAILORED TO YOU — which you've been following for quite a few training seasons.
I've kept this intentionally vague because there is absolutely no way to tell if you can do this until you've crossed the finish line. This "strategy" worked for Lorri Yurkowski. Unless that's you, take all this with a rock of salt.
As with pretty much everything in running, nothing guarantees you WON’T get hurt. Anybody who promises that to you is lying or very uninformed. So, proceed with caution, you audacious soul, you.
The day before the race, I:
Did a very easy 5k shakeout
Had a solid foam rolling session afterwards (I have a very specific routine tailored to my body's quirks)
Drank a ton of water and ate carb-rich foods, including a pint of Newcastle Brown
Went to bed at a decent hour
The morning of, I did my same old Plain Jane race day routine… if you’re curious, LMK and I’ll share it with you.
During the race I:
Ran a full minute slower than my last marathon pace
Went to every single water station possible, and walked while I drank instead of the ol' run ‘n chug
Took pee breaks
Walked for at least a minute every 10k, whether I felt I needed it or not
Ate my regular race day nutrition
Saved distance by not weaving in and out of people (I ran the tangents, too, which is a strategy I don't know why more runners don't use...)
Did not run up and downhill on underpasses, stuck to the sidewalk because it stays more at the same elevation so I avoided trashing my quads
Was hyper aware of my body, not letting a single twinge go unnoticed or pushed aside
I also followed the tips in my Surefire Race Day Strategies PDF, which you got when you signed up for my emails.
Honestly, the only part of my body that hurt was my face from smiling so much. Very corny and very true. It was my slowest finish ever, and the easiest recovery I had, too. Barely even DOMS the week after this effort. It was easily one of the best races of my life which had nothing to do with my finish time.
All that being said...
Here’s why I was successful:
I had zero expectations
I kept my effort as low as possible
I am very in-tune with my body after years of training and rehabbing
I know myself as a runner — and as a person
I am a big believer in doing the audacious, in testing yourself, in doing something you "shouldn't" just to see if you can. I’m not a risk taker by nature, but I didn't see this as a risk.
Here’s why…
I knew I could bail at any moment.
Really — you can stop at ANY POINT in the race. Don’t push it, here. If you feel anything weird, just get off the course. There is ZERO shame in that.
And anybody who dares to shame you for that ought to be on your bad list, I say.
Anywho, the thing was... I never needed to bail.
A lot of experts, running coaches, people with big opinions, will say that this is crazy, a bad idea, not what I should be saying as a soon-to-be-certified running coach.
Sure. It's stupid if you try to PR on an untrained race (at any distance). And it's always stupid to push through specific kinds of pain.
But, I wonder why more of those running experts don't acknowledge this deep desire a lot of runners have to do crazy things. I mean, you can't stick your head in the sand as a running professional. Some runners are gonna do it no matter what the conventional wisdom is. And shouldn't they at least hear from someone who's experienced it before?
I’m willing to talk about it. Now that’s a risk.
Anyway, if you've ever felt like you gotta sit out of a race you really wanna do, I get you. Nobody talks about actually running that "forbidden" race because it flies in the face of very sound teachings.
Nobody wants to look like they don't know what they're talking about.
Well, I do know.
From my "forbidden" marathon, I know that If you have a solid foundation as a runner in your mindset, your training, your prehab... you should feel okay about bending the rules here and there — and even breaking them when you’re confident.
That's what keeps you a passionate runner. At a certain point, you just won't be able to get any faster. You will stop setting PRs. What then? What's gonna keep you motivated?
Since that race, I've felt a new appreciation for myself — I know that I can pull a marathon out of my ass if I need to. Like if there's ever a post-apocalyptic Battle of Marathon II and somebody needs to deliver the victorious news to Athens.
You know, having to do a strict recovery plan to heal my fractured legs in 2016 taught me so much more about our sport than you can ever learn from Googling or reading old running forums. It allowed me to know the rules inside out so I was safe to test them.
The good news is I'm developing a way for you to get that very same knowledge — and AVOID the stress fractures in the first place.
If this message has resonated with you, looks like we're indeed kindred spirits. Reply if you want to clink our pint glasses in a toast to our everlasting affinity.
If it didn't, you know what I'll say. Unsubscribe now because you won't like anything else I bang on about.
L
PS. Next week, for those who stay, you’re getting some solid advice about chronic running injuries — and why yours might not be going away. These teachings are endorsed by the "physiotherapy Sherlock Holmes" Steven Procter himself, no less. They ain't a cure-all or in any way, shape, or form a substitute for getting treatment... I do believe they can get many runners on the right path to healing, if they use them wisely.